Pictures!

Haircut pictures as promised... :-)

A crazy dream!

OH! I almost forgot!!!! I had an awesome crazy dream this morning! It woke me up around 7:40 am... It was one of those "Whoa, I can't believe my subconscious just concocted that! Why am I terrified?!"-dreams.

So, in my dream I was babysitting or something, because only Philomena and Stephen (the 2 youngest of my siblings) were home. Everyone else was out. It was the middle of the morning and rather nice out. I was bored so I decided to go on a walk with my sister and brother.

On our walk, we're going up the street and around the corner and Philomena points to the sky and says to look at "that cloud." And I look and am like: "Um yes. It's such a very pretty... grey. What's so special about it?" And Philomena is like, "No, not THAT cloud. The one behind it!" and Stephen chimes in with an appropriate "Whoah."

I finally notice "the cloud." It's a tall-looking thunderhead, approaching with the speed of those fast forward shots of clouds that you see on nature shows, except in real time. And it's pitch black. Not just "oh, wow, that is a really dark grey cloud." It was BLACK. And had flashes of lightening coming from the very top.

My dream self recognizes this Cloud of Apparent Doom as a threat, and begins to walk the group back to the house to bunker down in the basement or something...

EXCEPT!

As I turn around, this White, 1990 Chrysler Town and Country Minivan ZOOMS by! (I had to Google image "Old minivans" to find it, but that is EXACTLY what it looked like in my dream!) And guess what's in it, and driving it.....?


Daleks.


No joke. A minivan driven by evil Daleks... The Dalek in the driver's seat wasn't holding the wheel or anything... It was just sitting there... Not buckled in or anything, but obviously driving the van. The lights on the Dalek were flashing and is was saying "Exterminate" though... (At least something was in character.)

Anyway, as the minivan of Daleks zooms by, Philomena sees them and says: "Look! It's the Daleks from STAR WARS!"

And before I get a chance to correct her, I see the minivan turn onto my street and head towards my house...

Which my thought process turns to (the dashes are meant to indicate how fast the mind of my dream self was racing.):

"Oh-my-gosh! They're-headed-for-our-house! They're-going-to-destroy-it! I've-got-to-stop-them! But-what-about-Philomena-and-Stephen? What-am-I-going-to-do-with-them? I-don't-want-them-to-get-hurt... How-can-I-stop-all-those-Daleks? What-do-they-want? Did-they-cause-that-'Cloud-of-Apparent-Doom?' How-am-I-going-to-defeat-a-minivan-full-of-Daleks? Oh. My. Gosh. I'm-going-to-die!"

And then I woke up.


I warned you! I swear I'm not doing anything that would influence my subconscious like that... I just have crazy weird awesome dreams! I actually woke up in a bit of a panic... It was the whole "hopelessness/despair/Oh-no we're all gonna die" situation.

I am definitely glad Daleks are not real.

Part of me IS sad though... What if my subconscious was going to bring in The Doctor and I just woke up too soon? I guess that's why I woke up so scared. Because in my dream I didn't feel any hope of The Doctor showing up to help. And that imagining of utter doom was totally not cool.


Oh well. Daleks do not drive minivans...


On that note.... :-P I am off to bed, for real this time.

It's Friday!

Well, this break is slowly drawing to a close. And I have survived. No stress. Or nothing giant anyway. Just band concerts, running, some trombone-a-ma-phoning (just because it's fun to say it that way), Harry Potter, House, Dr. Who, Blackadder, Mr. Bean, and Are You Afraid of the Dark? (Which TERRIFIED me when I was little... now it's just a corny show. I'm glad I've grown past that.) and black-light mini-golf!

Last night I went and saw Meet the Robinsons again at our local theatre. That is a super awesome movie! I love it! :-) While buying treats before the movie, the owner unrolled the teaser poster for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix just so she could show it to me. It had just come in. :-) It's was all shiny and crisp and awesome! The owner said that she will save the Harry Potter movie poster for me after they are done showing it! :-D I have the Chamber of Secrets one, and Mary has the Prisoner of Azkaban. Some day I will get them framed....

Tomorrow I'm going to go to Cabin Coffee. I've earned a free drink on my punch card. :-) It'll be sad going by myself, but maybe I'll bring Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire along and read for a bit to keep myself company.

I bought a cute dress to wear to the Opera when we go to New York. I just need a pair of shoes to go with it. I still also need a purse, zip-lock bags and a new bottle of face soap.

Tomorrow night I'm going to the Wind Ensemble's pre-Japan-tour concert in Lake Mills. It should be a good concert. :-)


Gosh.... New York is so close..... I'm kind of nervous.... Me in a big city? Ooooooh, goodness... :-S

I feel pretty....

Haircut status: Brilliant! I love it! It comes down to my jaw, and is heavily layered. I even have partial bangs! I got red highlights and they are way awesome! :-) Picture pending... aka when I get back to school and get my camera.

A post on a dreary day...

Okay, so it's raining pretty hard outside today so I didn't get to go run. Maybe if it clears up this evening I'll go but right now it doesn't look like it. I've been working up to jogging a mile straight through and I'm almost there. I might have reached that goal yesterday, but there was a strong North wind that made it difficult. I guess I'll pick up running again tomorrow.

Winter term grades are in! I passed all my classes! YES! :-D AND nothing lower than a B- in all of my classes! (And I only got one of those!) I didn't just scrape by! HOOO-RAY! :-D

I get my hair cut today! I'm also getting it highlighted. I want my hair about the length it was when I got it cut back in August, so it'll be layered and just below my ears, with enough left for me to pull out of my face. It curls nicely when it's that short, and it'll be easy to take care of when I go to New York for my Intro to Theatre class... Which is.... in about a week and a half! AHHH! I'm so excited! :-D

My silly iTunes player is bent on trying to play Christmas music as I listen to the "party shuffle" option. :-P

Okay, so besides Rachel V. I don't think anyone that reads my blog is a Doctor Who fan... Sad... Rachel V. is in Denver and I REALLY want to talk about the awesomeness of the new series! It's pretty intense... Maybe I'll have to try and convert someone this summer... I'm already excited about building a Dalek over May Term.... It will be awesome! (Although after "Daleks in Manhattan Part I" I'm even more creeped out by them.)

Rachel V. and I are also talking about the possibility of going to Chicago over part of Thanksgiving break for the Doctor Who convention. Which would be AWESOME! We both want to buy a Sonic Screwdriver. *is a dork* I also found out from Rachel D. that John Williams is also conducting the Chicago Symphony Orchestra again that weekend! Possible double-whammy? (Rachel V.'s mom is also convinced that things like building a Dalek and other obsessive behaviors surrounding Doctor Who are part of the reasons we both are still single. Sooo I figure we should go to the convention and meet geeky Doctor Who boys. Hahaha....)

Okay, that's all I have to say right now. Since it's raining its a good opportunity to continue on my quest to finish reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire again... I haven't read that book for a couple years... There are lots of little things I'm catching.... Phrases, words I've never seen before... It's awesome. :-)

Gah.... iTunes is now trying to play music from The Polar Express.... :-P

Mental circles...

Maybe if I wasn't PMS-ing off and on, this wouldn't be such a big deal... But really. I already work hard to suppress the idea of never having a boyfriend, never falling in love, never going on dates, never being surprised, never having anyone to hold my hand, never getting married. Being alone and single all my life....

Just because I'm 20 years old doesn't mean I'm an old maid by today's standards... I know this! People are living longer, and getting married later. But still. It hurts being alone. A lot. I'm not even pining after anyone anymore! I have no plausible crushes. No one. I'm no longer on an anti-chick-flick spree, I'm not a man-hater/feminist.

I'm just me.... with stupid PMS.

I wish on stars.
I make up stories in my head.
I don't like tuna.
I have performance anxiety.
I sing really loud in the car to music I like.
I am awkward, weird and random.
I have problems trying to control my crazy hair.
I write stories.
I love hugs.
I like old movies.
I wish I could dance.
I like to draw.

And I cry when I'm by myself. Like now.

Because I'm scared of being alone forever.

Being alone is a hard cross to bear. Especially when you have a roommate who is engaged and planning the wedding...

I don't want to be alone forever.

Someday I will be able to truthfully say YES I have a boyfriend.

Until then, I just imagine what life would be like if I could join my favorite fictional characters for something adventurous. Something to take my mind off this topic.
......
My friend The Doctor says
That every time it starts to rain -
And people run indoors again in swarms -
If you remain
Out in the rain,
You'll think you're drinking pink champagne! -
And you'll spend your life Praying for thunderstorms!

Maybe what The Doctor tells me
Isn't altogether true -
But I love every tale he tells me -
I don't know any better ones - Do you?

My friend The Doctor says
The world is full of fantasy -
And who are you and I to disagree?
Let's hope and pray
That is the way
The life we love will always stay
For my friend The Doctor
And me!

Co-authored

Hello! This is Leah and Sarah! Today was our last day of finals for the 2nd semester of our sophomore year! We survived all our tests! YAY!

We decided to celebrate by spending the night in the very building we have devoted our lives too. That's right. The FAC.

We hid through the security check and now we are chillin' out! We tried popping popcorn in the microwave in the student lounge, but we burnt it, because the microwave is ancient. It blew a hole through the bag. It was pretty spectacular. We can't say we've ever seen popcorn really do that. Our first instinct was to clean it up and throw it away, however we realized that the smell of burnt popcorn would be suspicious, so we will clean it up in the morning.

Rachel V. and Margie were supposed to join us too, but they backed out.

Also, earlier tonight, to celebrate the end of finals Jesse, Ted, Duane, Leah and I burned some of our text books! YES! It was AWESOME! Lots and lots of fire! There is a little grill in the "U" of the Complex and we popped popcorn as we burned various textbooks, handbooks, tests, bank statements and music. Leah and I burned our Horvit ear training workbooks. It was so gratifying to see them BURN! We ended up popping about 4 giants bowls of popcorn. But 2 of them were burnt and gross. So we dumped them on the grill above the fire. Popcorn burns really well! It was pretty much awesome!

Well, Leah and I are going to watch a movie. That is all for our current, very dorky, music major, semi-illegal adventures! Have a good break everyone!

Leah and Sarah

Cantus

Any man that has a talent for singing could easily win my heart...



...Tenors or basses particularly...



*sigh*



If you would comfort me, sing me a lullaby
If you would win my heart, sing me a love song
If you would mourn me and bring me to God,
sing me a requiem, sing me to Heaven

Touch in me all love and passion, pain and pleasure
Touch in me grief and comfort, love and passion, pain and pleasure
Sing me a lullaby, a love song, a requiem
Love me, comfort me, bring me to God

Sing me a love song, sing me to Heaven

Short fuse...

I need a break. I am so short tempered with specific people... I'm kind of like a time bomb. And I feel bad for complaining all the time. Because it feels like that's all I ever do... Is complain about certain subjects.

I am very ready for tour week. It sounds like everyone is. My goal is to read Harry Potter books one through six. Because I really won't have to do anything. Oh, and finish Mister Monday, so I can give it back to Rachel V.

I NEED to buy a memory card for my camera.

I have my last music history test tomorrow. I am so tired of studying for this test. I finished defining all 97 vocabulary words yesterday... Whew... :-P

I have an interview at the Library tomorrow about a job. Heh. Over a year later. Way-to-go Wartburg. At least they kept my application.

Crazy life. Finals are next week. Hold on tight...


P.S. I love Doctor Who. I watched the new season premiere online. It was insane. Insanely AWESOME! :-D

Fortune cookies...

Do you even get fortune cookies that really don't give you a fortune? The brand that Wartburg buys often are just a saying or something rather motivational. Sometimes there are grammatical errors which make them even more humorous in addition to adding the traditional "in bed" or "when taking over the world" tags on the end. Anyway, every once in a while I come across one that I think deserves to be kept because they are particularly inspirational or applicable to my line of thought.

"Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure."
Haha! I try to make it that way at least... To survive the difficulty of school, homework and all the stuff I have to get done I often try to think of it all as part of my "quest." It helps a little, but it makes for a pretty boring "adventure." That's why road trips end up being so fun!

"Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you."
Well, right at this moment my fridge and my garbage can are on either side of me.... And my fridge is empty and well... Garbage is just not happy in general. But! I like the idea of not searching forever to find happiness.

"Your original ideas will get you well deserved recognition."
1. I like to write. 2. I think it would be awesome fun to get something published someday. 3. I like begin original. 4. I like being the center of positive attention.

"Get your mind set... Confidence will lead you on."
Good advice with Juries and Finals being next week!

"Friends long absent are coming back to you."
I miss Jessica. And Laura. And all the people at Bethel. And Julia. I miss a lot of people.

"With integrity and consistency your credits are piling up."
Then why don't I have junior status yet?
"You are capable, competent, creative and careful. Prove it."
When I got this one, I about fell out of my chair. It sounds like something Doc would say.

Other than that, that's all I have right now... Besides the fact that I want to know what the heck is up with this snow?! REALLY Iowa, get your act together! It's been spring for 3 weeks already! Where was the snow when we wanted it, over Christmas with Wartburg?

Back at school...

I think no matter how realistic I try to be I shall always, deep down, be a hopeless romantic. I can't fight it. It's there.

And that's what helps makes life hard, I think.


I wish I could add to my Master List:

125. He will be able to sing like Josh Groban.

126. He will have hair like David Tennant... Um... Pretty much BE David Tenant...



But I feel that is getting ridiculous.



Someday, there will be someone who will be there to hold my hand. To take me on date. To be random and kooky with me. To listen to me ramble and rant. And to understand my silence.

Jumbled and cluttered thoughts...

I'm tired of being stressed. I'm tired of how my body deals with stress. For the first time in my life I am unhappy with my weight. I'm tired of complaining all the time. I'm tired of being frustrated. I'm tired of being short tempered. I'm okay with being single, but I'm tired of seeing couples everywhere I go. I'm tired of having low self-esteem. I'm tired of being Harry Potter to someone's Colin Creevy. I miss naps. I'm tired of other people not being able to knuckle down and get their life in order. I'm tired of intellectual laziness. I really like playing scramble-face with Jessica and her camera. I miss laughing until I cry. I'm tired of irresponsibility. I'm tired of working my tail off to make a deadline and watching others procrastinating until the last minute and than receiving an extension. I'm tired of feeling unattractive. I'm tired of not having things go my way. I wish I knew how some seemingly undeserving people have significant others, while other people who are great and amazing remain single. I wish I had money to buy that dress I tried on at Dillard's. I'm tired of not being smart enough. I'm tired of being too smart for my own good. I'm tired of knowing where I'm going in life, but not being able to read highway signs telling me what I should do along the way. I hate that life is making me cynical. I'm tired of wishing for things I can't have. I'm tired of trying to deal with other peoples problems in addition to my own. I miss having ambition. I'm tired of being told to do something that I already know I have to do. I'm tired of back pain. Sometimes I wonder if I've been conditioned not to cry when something upsets me. I'm tired of not having any time to myself. I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired not knowing what I want. I'm tired of feeling unwanted. I'm tired of not having time to read for fun. I'm tired of not having time to draw. I miss acting. I'm tired of people fulfilling stereotypes and confusing me. I'm tired of cold weather. I'm tired of living 2 hours from my best friend. I'm tired of not having a car. I'm tired of feeling stuck. I miss being passionate about what I want to achieve. I miss thinking I'm in love. I miss making movies. I wish I had time to sew. I miss building forts in the woods. I miss laying in the grass and looking at the clouds. I miss climbing trees. I'm tired of being in debt. I'm tired of not getting enough sleep. I'm tired of not having enough time. I'm tired of "if only" conversations. I wish I could sing. I'm tired of finals. I wish I could dance. The men I thought I loved have caused me to become jaded against romance and true love. I'm scared of not being good enough. I'm afraid of being ridiculed. I'm terrified of failure. Everything is not okay, but I'm good at pretending.

I’ve hardly met a single soul, but I am not alone.
I feel grown.
This is wanting something, this praying for it,
This is holding breath and keeping fingers crossed.
This is counting blessings, this is wondering when I’ll see that boy again.
I’ve got a feeling he’s just a someone, too.
And the beauty is, when you realize, when you realize,
Someone could be looking for a someone like you.

~The Beauty Is, from The Light in the Piazza

Substantial quotes...

Music was invented to confirm human loneliness...


True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.


Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist; but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.


Everything always works out in musicals. In the real world nothing rarely works out and the only people who burst into song are the hopelessly deranged.


You should not expect others to stand up for you, if do not have the courage to stand up for yourself first.


I hold a dream an' there's no compromisin'
I know there's one certain laddie for me.
One day he'll come walkin' o'er the horizon:
But should he not, then an old maid I'll be.


A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.


My heart knows a lovely song
It whistles it all day long
If you know the melody
Please whistle it back to me…


And take extra care with strangers,
Even flowers have their dangers.
And though scary is exciting,
Nice is different than good.


Chance is the providence of adventures.






As life unfolds you’ll see what starts like a scary tale ends like a fairy tale, And life couldn’t possibly better be...

I can do it!

What you've got to do is
Finish what you have begun,
I don't know just how,
But it's not over 'til you've won!



When you see the storm is coming,
See the lightning part the skies,
It's too late to run-
There's terror in your eyes!
What you do then is remember
This old thing you heard me say:
"It's the storm, not you,
That's bound to blow away."

Hold on,
Hold on to someone standing by.
Hold on.
Don't even ask how long or why!
Child, hold on to what you know is true,
Hold on 'til you get through.
Child, oh child!
Hold on!

When you feel your heart is poundin',
Fear a devil's at your door.
There's no place to hide-
You're frozen to the floor!
What you do then is you force yourself
To wake up, and you say:
"It's this dream, not me,
that's bound to go away."

Hold on,
Hold on, the night will soon be by.
Hold on,
Until there's nothing left to try.
Child, hold on, There's angels on their way!
Hold on and hear them say,
"Child, oh child!"

And it doesn't even matter
If the danger and the doom
Come from up above or down below,
Or just come flying
At you from across the room!

When you see a man who's raging,
And he's jealous and he fears
That you've walked through walls
He's hid behind for years.
What you do then is you tell yourself to wait it out
And say it's this day, not me,
That's bound to go away.

Child, oh hold on.
It's this day, not you,
That's bound to go away!


--Hold On, from the Broadway show The Secret Garden

A minute....

Hello Everyone! I'm still alive... Barely, but I'm holding on with all I've got!

Finals are coming up and I still have a lot to do, but my massive eight page Music History term paper is finished and turned in. I stayed up until 3 am finishing it, but it got done. Then I got up at 8 am and went to the library to finish correcting some of the footnotes/bibliography since I needed book sources, not online ones. And I edited it... Because I definitely wrote the "United States of Americans". *facepalm* Then the computer was slow and then it wouldn't register the printer and then it took forever to print... etc etc etc... It was a big hassle. But I made it to class... 15 minutes late, but the professor wasn't mad or anything and I apologized for being late after class.

Last week I got all 12 hours of field experience done and OVER with! *whew* THAT was a hassle too. I'm glad it's done.

Over break I will be working on my listening logs, studying for my last Music History test, finishing the powerpoint for my Human Relations group presentation and writing a reflection for that class AND making a poster... I will also be practicing for my sophomore music barrier and piano basic skills test. Lots and lots to do!!!!

Go see Meet the Robinsons. NOW! It is spectacularly awesome!!!!! Bravo Disney! Well done!

I'm coming home tomorrow! I will be home Thursday night through Tuesday morning.

I have an interview on Monday, for a summer job. I hope that goes well...


Iowa, what is up with this weather???? SNOW?! Really. That's just not cool. You are voted off the island.


I saw Godspell and Jesus Christ Superstar both for the first time this week. Godspell was a student production here on campus and JCS was the newer version PBS aired a while back. I think I like Godspell better.... I think its a style of music preference.

The cheap ring I bought two weekends ago has sufficiently turned my finger green. It's pretty much awesome... And now the silver is rubbing off and you can see the different colored metal underneath. I don't really care though. It's just fun to have a ring to wear.

Housing FINALLY has gotten figured out for next year!!!! No more freshman housing!! YAY! We are going to room in what's called the Manors.... which are two bigger rooms that share a bathroom. So Leah and I will share a room and Rachel V. and Lourey will share the other. Margie and Kartika will be next door as well. It will be pretty much awesome! I'm excited!

Random: Margie's boyfriend kissed Rachel V. and me goodnight on the tops of our heads before he kissed Margie goodnight. It was unexpected, but not unwelcome. It was one of those "awwww" moments.

And Leah and Rachel V. and Margie have all started to say "I love you" when people in our group say good-bye and leave or just in conversation. Maybe they've always said it, but I just didn't notice it until now.... But it's really nice to hear that from people who are your good friends. I mean, you hear it from your family and stuff, but when you hear it from someone who you aren't related to.... It's a morale booster. And it's nice to be able to reply "I love you too."

Okay, it's been a long day. I'm going to go to bed.

So busy...

Sometimes the people I know personify Harry Potter book characters. And I don't know what to do about it.

There's no prefect's bathroom to hide in.