Project Orange

"Well, if the students want an Outfly, I guess it better be Outfly!" -President Hamm

Hey everyone! SURPRISE! It's OUTFLY!!!!!

It's a little known fact that Wartburg used to have TWO Outflys... One in the fall and one in the winter... And the student body used to have to march to the president's house and demand that it be declared Outfly. (The president's house used to be closer. On campus in fact.) And then there would be no classes.

Student Senate decided to try and organize the Wartburg student body to bring back this tradition....... For the past week student senate has been gathering student signatures in support of a Winter Term Outfly. They wanted 1,000 signatures. They got 1,300. Which is ALMOST the entire student body.

The intent of this Outfly (because it is not endorsed--or known--to the Faculty... Well, until today obviously) is to show the college administration that the student body are not happy with not having a voice. Issues that many of us feel are important are being ignored. Things like:

- Tuition Inflation (Tuition was about $28,000 when I was a freshman. Next year it's over $35,000.)
- Campus Sustainability and Environmental Initiatives (We... desperately need a better way to recycle on campus...)
- Res-Hall Improvements (There's asbestos in the Complex.)
- ITS and Technology Funding (I work for ITS and we do NOT have enough funding for what the campus wants us to do.)
- Faculty Feedback (SRI Review Procedures) (The comments written by students are read by teachers.... sometimes. But not administration. Also a poor review by a student about a teacher on an SRI can blacklist the student's future standing with that teacher, even though they are supposed to be anonymous.)
- Accessibility & Special Needs Accommodation (Not all the doors are handicap-accessible, and a lot of have have been broken this year.)
- Faculty-Administration Communication and Support. (Wartburg just instituted a salary-freeze until they know how many students are coming in the fall. You can't tell me all of the faculty are happy about this.)
- International Student Support (Money is promised... But really... Who CAN afford to go here??????)
- The "W" Locker Room Access (I'm paying $500 a semester FOR the W specifically, and I can't used the member locker rooms????? WTF! Plus, Wartburg still charges you the $500 per semester even if you study abroad or go to Wartburg West in Denver, Co.)

So it's "Outfly for a Cause" but it's still Outfly! We all got up at 5:30 am went to Clinton Field, where we met up with the other 1,000+ students. There were speeches. Then we ALL marched to Greenwood where we knocked on President Hamm's door for about 15 minutes. He came out in his pajamas, we sang the Wartburg Loyalty Song, and he declared it Outfly! It was awesome!

The only lame part is that the Faculty aren't obliged to adhere to it, so if your professor doesn't declare it Outfly, you have to responsibly decide if you will skip class or not. I have one class today, and I have a test. And the Professor says if you skip, you can't make up the test. Whatever. I'll go in and get the test over with. And then I have a flute lesson at 9. And then I'm practicing with my accompanist at 11:30.

Outfly doesn't really change *my* day, but hey. It's still Outfly!

Recital in T minus 6 days...

My recital is this coming Saturday. Part of me is constantly going "AHHH! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!!!" and another part is like "Meh, whatever. Deal with it when it comes." and the last part is like, "As long as you can play through everything without having to cough, this recital is gonna ROCK!"

And I think that's the bit I need to listen to.... I need to focus on how my recital is going to go well.... And listen to other people tell me I'm going to do well too... Because lately when that's happened the "Meh, whatever." bit kicks in.

I really want to have an awesome recital.

It's not like high school where I'm playing in front of a judge for a rating, trying to out-perform the other students. All I have to do is demonstrate for my professors a musical growth and proficiency that they deem appropriate for my playing ability. I'm not competing against anyone. This recital is merely a performance. No one in that room wants me to fail. All I have to do is be awesome.

I need to figure out a way to:

1. Mentally convince myself that I will be amazing and play beautiful music at my recital.

2. Not make myself so nervous that I start to feel sick.
-This probably means lots of distractive activities Friday night.
-Lots of #1.

3. Build up enough stamina so I can play through all my music.

4. Get good sleep.


I'm going to be so relieved once this is all over. I'm already experiencing some nervous/stir-crazy energy... :-P

Something that's nice is that the dress I was planning to wear fits, and allows me to breathe. Now I just need to figure out what I'm doing with my hair.

I can do it, I can do it!

Part 2: 1 Peter 5:7

The jury is in. I am ridiculous.

And I feel better.





Also, I need to stop thinking about all the people in relationships who I *don't* want to be like, and just be myself.

Self-inflicted anxiety...

I can't control my brain. I've been trying for the past week... It's going crazy into over-drive, analyzing every little thing over and over. Things that probably mean nothing. I'm probably just being ridiculous.

I think this is the hard part about long distance relationships.

I just... Can't think about anything else... And I feel so stressed that I've been having trouble falling asleep the past couple nights and all day today I've had this funky stomach ache.

I haven't had this happen since high school--allowing myself to become so stressed I felt sick--and that was performance anxiety whenever I had a music audition...

The things I keep telling myself aren't working anymore.

WHY AM I SO RIDICULOUS???
______

Also, I went to a mandatory meeting regarding my student loans. There's a chance that I won't get my loans paid off until I'm almost 50 years old. I'm not even joking.
______

Maybe I need a lobotomy.

I can't win...

Note to self: Do not take bronchitis medicine before bed. It will make your stomach unhappy and prevent you from sleeping, no matter how tired you are.

I kind of... just want to cry.

1 Peter 5:7

Bleh.

So this afternoon I walked into the student lounge in the FAC, 20 minutes before my arranging class to discover that... We had a test today. Over the names of all the percussion instruments in Italian, French and German.

Wonderful, no?

I think I did *okay*... Considering I only had 15 minutes to study before class. I can't believe I forgot... :-P

I'm really tired of working on Take Me Out to the Ball Game, although I must smugly admit my arrangement sounds pretty awesome. :-)

Also, today I realized that I have a big philosophy test next Monday over Locke, Berkeley, Hume and Kant. It's supposedly bigger than our final test. So I'm going to start chipping away at that so I don't have to worry about that this weekend.

I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to coffee....

And I can't forget that my recital is the weekend after this.

Bleh. Bleh bleh bleh.

I'm pretty sure all the senior music majors are getting pretty stressed right now, with everyone's performances LOOMING in the distance. And this STUPID COUGH is not helping my stress level AT ALL... My complexion just started clearing up from de-stressing over break and now it's getting all messed up again.




AND! AND! Through all this I'm supposed to be looking for a JOB. Like.... A *real* job... A job that is relevant to what I've been studying for the past 4 years. Can't the "right place" just hire me? That would be so much easier!

Bleh.


Is it sad that quite often, when I'm practicing, a lot of my time is spent staring myself down in the mirror and telling myself that I can do this?


What I want to do and what I need to do are two different things. My life isn't really my own.



At least the weather has been lovely...

Lameness and nerdiness...

Today in philosophy I realized that I have 12 more days until my recital.

And I have bronchitis. Lame lame lame.... I can't really play through any of my music straight through without having to stop and cough. Which is not cool, because I should be working on building up stamina so I can survive through all of my music. Not to mention working to get everything up to tempo.

Shoot. I also need to figure out if my dress fits, make invitations, and figure out what the heck I'm going to do with my hair.

I'm trying not to run around being like "AHHHHH!!!! THE SKY IS FALLING! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AND END!" I mean, the world isn't really coming to an end. I'm just tired.... Bryan O. just put it so eloquently this morning, "I've lost my motivation... If you see it on the floor, please come and get me. I want it back."

And homework is eating my soul. Not literally. But I don't want to do it.
______________________________

Awesome random conversation of the day... About zombies, what else?:

Me: Head Cheese?
Rachel D.: What? No that's not what I said...
Me: Oh... I thought I heard you say 'head cheese.' ....... What if there was a brain scented air freshener....? Like a "brain spray".....
Rachel D.: Wha-aaat?
Me: Head Cheese Febreeze! ....... OR Fbrains! It's like Febreeze, but brain scented!
Rachel D.: *laughs* What would you use it for?
Me: For zombies! Like, if there's a zombie apocalypse and you wanted to go zombie hunting. It's like deer hunting... You use deer scent for the deer. You use brains for zombies...... But I suppose if it was a zombie apocalypse, you wouldn't want something that would attract zombies... Maybe it's a zombie repellent!
Rachel D.: And it would smell like cheese and you could spray yourself and the zombies wouldn't be able to find you!
Me: Uh... No... I don't think it would smell like cheese....
Rachel D.: Well... Okay, maybe you could spray a tree and the zombies would attack the tree and you could get away.
Me: Yeah.
____________________________

I still don't like this bronchitis. My stomach muscles hurt from coughing.

Senioritis or Spring Fever?

I'm going home this weekend, to help babysit. It'll be nice little break...

Today's been kind of... Blah.

I had my last chiropractor appointment, which is nice.

I tried practicing after dinner, but just was not motivated... I hope my flute lesson tomorrow goes alright...

I think I just need a decent night's sleep.

...Which is almost impossible when you're a night owl like me, and have a 7:45 am class.

Plus... The week back from break is always kind of a let down, right? I mean... Break = awesome/fun. School = lame/boring...

Bleh....


"When I’ve finished my work,
And I crawl into bed,
I reflect as I turn out the lights,
That the day that’s to come,
And the week that’s ahead,
Will be lunch counter mornings,
And coffee shop nights...
Lunch counter mornings,
And coffee shop nights..."


I want an adventure.... I don't know how this is different from any other time I want an adventure... And I don't know what kind of adventure I'm looking for... But I want one. A nice one... If that means anything...

What the CRAP Facebook??!!

Epic FAIL Facebook!!! Epic. Fail. I am not happy with how you are trying to cater to my needs... STUPID Facebook!

To quote Rachel D. "You do not deserve better... You already have AWESOME!"

I do already have awesome.



Not cool Facebook. Not cool at all.

Crazy dream...

Last night I had this awesome, crazy random dream that I found Jack Sparrow's leather coat in my closet... I mean, in my dream I had never met Jack Sparrow, or seen him or whatever. But I knew it was his coat. Also, I was the age I am now, but our house was what it was like before we remodeled in 1999... So Mary and I were still sharing a room.

Anyway, so I had Jack Sparrow's leather coat, and the first thing I do is go through the pockets. And I find... Jack Sparrow's identification papers... In a kind of beat-up leather billfold that was all priatey-ified... And.... 3 DVD discs from the TV series Firefly.

Yes. You read that correctly. I found 3 DVDs of Firefly in Jack Sparrows coat.

But it gets weirder.

So I'm holding this coat, and I think... "Ohhhh.... Barbossa will want this back... Maybe I could hold it for ransom and get some money!" but then I realize that if I tried to do that Barbossa would probably show up at my house and kill everyone. So I decide to just return it...

By throwing it in.... the LAKE. Like, Clear Lake.

Which I somehow decided to carry out by convincing my parents that we ALL should go swimming. In the middle of the night.

Um... Luckily the moon was out, so it was really bright. And where we were swimming happened to be super shallow. So I just waded out really far and then threw the coat, (leaving the contents of the pockets intact) into the lake, where it sunk to the bottom.

And then I woke up.

And had the track "One Last Shot" from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie stuck in my head all through my 7:45 philosophy class. It was very very distracting.



Really... I'm not making any of that up... My brain is.... so.... WEIRD sometimes!

LMAFONR...

It's definitely a perk, and not a "job."





My jobs are more like:

1. To pray for him.
-God happens to be a big part in both of our lives. We both need all the help we can get. :-)
2. To be supportive.
-Life is weird and crazy... But I'm here... Always a phone call away, at least.
2. To be encouraging.
-Everyone needs someone who believes in them. To remind them to keep going.
3. Listen to things he has to say.
-Sometimes there are days and situations where a person just can't take it anymore. Or maybe it's just a different opinion. Whatever it is, I'm ready to listen.
5. To remind him.
-Of how much I love him.
-Annnnd maybe that sometimes we both need sleep. :-)
6. To make him laugh.
-Because it makes me so happy to hear it.
7. To be myself.
-Which is 100x easier when I am with him.

5th Dimenstional Marbles

First of all, since I haven't posted for a while I should say, if you don't already know (through Facebook or something) I passed my preview with flying colors! My committee told me that was the best they had heard me play. :-) Which is made doubly awesome considering the fact that my ears were plugged and I could hardly tell if I was in tune or not. I'm really glad that I passed and I am now all set to go on with my recital on the 28th.

Okay, so break is nice. :-) Hanging our with my Bethel friends is very nice. Hanging out with Luke is pretty much awesome! I care if a lot of it is spent sitting on his bed reading, while he does homework. That's totally okay. It's just super nice to see him and be with him.... And way better than just simply being at home.

I've read quite a few books so far... A couple Father Brown mysteries, The Giver, I finished Paper Towns (finally...) and I'm in the middle of reading the most recent Tolkien novel, The Children of Hurin. It's really good! I'll probably finish it today. I have some Doctor Who novels which will probably be next.

Tonight Luke and I and Luke's roommates are all going to the midnight premiere of The Watchmen. It should be pretty freaking fantastic! I'm super excited. They got the tickets through a local comic book store, so there's a "party" like event before the actual movie that we're all going to. A couple of Luke's roommates are dressing up--one as Rorschach, another as Dr. Manhattan (50s era... with clothes don't worry) and one as The Comedian.

I like being around super nerdy people. :-)

Luke and I played Halo 3 the other day. That was fun, I hadn't played at all since high school and that was just player vs. player... It wasn't the actual game. We got to level 3 before the disc stopped working because it had a scratch.

We've also played Gloom, Settlers of Katan and Gin. Luke has won them all except for one of the 3 games of Gin. That was me. :-) I really like playing Gin.

Okay, I need to go and take a shower and meet Amanda for lunch, but before I sign off, check out this awesome blog! Cake Wrecks! It is so fantastically crazy... Or sometimes WHAT were these people THINKING?