996

I got a lot of hugs today. :-) I think it was a new record.

Duane taught me how to waltz tonight, and at Ballroom Dancing Club I learned the guy part of the Tango... And then I learned the girl part, but I haven't gotten that down just yet.

In other news I am definately getting a cold and I am going to take ibuprofen for it and go to bed.

Break is over... What?

So break has gone by... I'm gonna be heading back to the 'Burg in about two hours... Most of it was fun and good, but it definately didn't go as I planned...

I want to blame Perkins, but really, really truly there was nothing I could do about anything. The way break played out was just that... And there's nothing I can do about it. :-/

...I think the worst part was going to Happy Feet with Jessica (and Suzy and her brother and Jessica's mom) which ended up being the ONLY time I got to see her... And since she is my very best friend, this is very sad. You can't really do some hard-core catching-up on life events when you're in a group of people. :-P

I feel like I have a million things to do, but not enough time to do them. I hate that my mental set is "Maybe if I ingore it, it'll go away..."

I got a digital camera, which I am really excited about! Now I just need a bigger memory card.

Tonight Leah and I are decorating our room for Christmas... That shoud help my mood, seeing as I've looking forward to it for about a week. :-)

A little thing that makes me smile...

Nothing makes me happier then to have a friend or a group of friends who seek out my company so they can spent time with me.

...This includes random messages left for me on AOL/MSN/Facebook saying things like "I miss you"...

Everyone likes to know they have some value in other people's lives.

*warm fuzzies*

Happy Thanksgiving!

First of all... I FINISHED MY PSYCHOLOGY PAPER! AHHHHHH!!!!! I worked on it alllllll last night after I got home from Happy Feet, and I worked on it alllllll today... Whew! I'm glad it's done!

Second, I hope everyone is having a nice Thanksgiving and a great break!

Dinner here was awesome... Mashed potatoes, turkey, gravy, corn... the works.... Although it seemed to take forever for dinner to be ready, so when we finally DID sit down to eat, I got in trouble for saying grace faster then everyone else... Because I was so hungry I just wanted to EAT! After 2 servings of turkey, corn, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a piece of pumpkin pie I took a nice nap... Definately turkey induced. :-)

At dinner mom asked us what we were thankful and I jokingly said that I was thankful that dinner was finally cooked, and Stephen added in all seriousness and excitement that he was thankful for all the birthdays in the world. It was cute! :-D

But truthfully, I am thankful for a lot of things... My family, and the fact that I know they love me and support me, and for my friends and all the joy and hilarity they bring to my crazy life, as well as all the crap they put up with from me... I'm thankful I am able to go to school and that I have clothes and my own computer and plenty of food to eat... And hugs. Hugs are amazing and I am very thankful for hugs. *warm fuzzies*

Now I'm eating more turkey and mashed potatoes with gravy and corn.... Mmmmm.... :-)

Recap...

Okay, so I had two tests today... One in music theory and one in psychology... Which kind of sucked, but I've actually been in a pretty good mood, so that helps. :-) Last night's tickle-fight played a big part in that I think... All those endorphins and all... :-)

So, Saturday night was the big spaghetti dinner Leah and I had planned for our group. It went well, and a good time was had by all... While cooking we established that:

You do not boil French bread, however you CAN broil it... Provided you have a pan.

Spaghetti noodles stick to things when they're done. Like ceilings. However, for future reference, don't let it dry there. It becomes hard to remove.

No matter WHAT a person is wearing, if you're pouring something it WILL splatter.

Don't look away when you are pouring something. Not even if it's splattering... You will miss and pour everything on the counter.

A box of spaghetti that makes 16 servings is a lot of spaghetti.

It's hard to speak cohearantly with a bunch of Angel Food Cake in your mouth. (Okay, so I basically established this one... As I was the only one stuffing my face and then trying to continue conversations...)

Evidentially salt makes water boil faster.

The plural of spaghetti is spaghetti. Not spaghetties.

Soap bubbles are fun!

Spraying your roommate with water is even more fun!

>:-D

...Yeah, stuff like that...

We ate dinner in a classroom that was next to the kitchen area... The guys set up the computer and projector so play a slideshow of travel pictures they found on the internet... But we got bored with that eventually, so we watched Homestarrunner Cartoons and stuff. Although I think the best part was comnig across one of those "magic eye" pictures during a Google Image search that we were doing.... We were all sitting there, looking at the projector screen, and Nathan and Jesse stand up to get a better look... Jesse walks to the computer screen, but Nathan stands there staring at the picture on the projecter... With his shadow taking up the middle of the picture... And you can see on his face "Gee, I can't see the picture... I must not be close enough." So he steps closer and his shadow gets bigger which finally causes him to realize that trying to see the hidden image on a projector screen was not the way to go. And I don't know why, but I found it hilarious... Like... I was laughing so hard after seeing this I started crying and all that jazz... Wow... I guess you had to be there, but it was hilarious!

After dinner Ted, Duane, Jesse and I went and saw Stranger Then Fiction, which was amusing, although not as funny as I'd hoped. After that we watched The Core back in the guy's room.

Sunday... Went to church... Then ate at Hardee's with the guys... Worked on a paper... Ate dinner in the Den with the guys and Devon who was at Wartburg for a scholarship day... Then I went and studied in Ted and Jesse's room because I was tired of my own dorm, having been in there all day by myself, since Leah was with Travis. So I studied and watched the 4th Harry Potter movie on HBO... Then we watched Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest... And no, it's not out on DVD yet.... Mwahaha... :-) After that Ted channel surfed and we watched the end of Venture Brothers. Then Ted, Duane and I got in a pretty big tickle fight, which was what the post before this was about...

...THAT was a good time! :-D It started out with Ted and Duane ganging up on me, since I am very ticklish, but we discovered that we were all pretty ticklish... We even got Jesse in on it, for a little while... haha! Although I must interject that we were all pretty tired and silly, so that probably played a factor in how ticklish the guys were... I'm just ticklish all the time... :-P



Yep... So that's what has been going on for a while.. Oh! My Wishbone Facebook group ("No I Haven't Read that Great Litterary Classic--But I've seen the Wishbone") broke 10,000 members last week and s currently almost up to 11,000! How cool is that??? :-)

Laughter is good...

*sigh* Tickle-fights make me feel better about life. Especially when I learn where I can fight back. Being sleepy and massively giggly with a group of friends (especially guy friends) is a good feeling. :-D

Fighting moodiness...

I hate that I'm so possesive.

I reek of jealousy.


I am such a piece of work, it's not even funny.

998...

Duane and Ted have begun a mission to give me 1000 hugs. They kicked it off tonight by giving me two bone-crushing sandwich hugs. One on the way to Wal-Mart and one in the Wal-Mart check-out line. They are amazing, and I feel a lot better toninght. :-)

In need of a quiet place to think...

No more chick-flicks for me. They ruin my life. From now on it's action-adventure all the way. War and fighting and blood. I can't deal with this mood. If I had a Rambo movie, I would watch it.

I was doing fine today... Last night obviously not so much. I ended up getting really homesick after talking to Duane. All through the day I was okay. Band was amazing.... I worked really hard and it felt good. I love the piece we're playing! :-)

Then I had dinner with Ted, Jesse, Duane, Jackie and Jenna. Ted had to leave early... And well, Jenna and I had words that set me back into this stupid mood.

I'm not really jealous of anything in the group, per se. I'm just fed up with "life."

I read through my Master List tonight and some of the stuff has already changed. Good greif. What was I thinking? My life is impossible.

What REALLY started this was my stupid Lifespan Human Development Class. We are discussing Erikson's "Intamacy vs. Isolation" theory and how friendships develop and the difference between "friendships" and "romantic relationships."

I don't know what to think. I don't know how much of this is physical exhaustion and how much of this is my brain just being messed up.

I want someone to hold my hand.
To pick my brain and ask me why.
To suprise me.
Hold me.
Tell me things are going to be okay.

Okay, so I am jealous of everyone I see who actually is in a relationship. And I KNOW nothing is perfect, but please don't tell me I'm better off single. I hear that enough.

Evidentially there is someone out there for me, but golly, it doesn't seem like he's at Wartburg... So what do I do now?

I need a fort of pillows and blankets where I can just hide, all snuggly and safe.

I want to walk to the bridge over the river, and sit on a park bench. And cry. But it's midnight and I'm not going alone. And I'm too shy to ask someone to go with me. And as far as I can tell, everyone is busy. Leah's in bed, Rachel D. is doing homework, and is already swamped, Ted has two tests tomorrow, Duane and Jesse both have to get up early. Jill isn't online, Emily is also swamped, Julia doesn't go to school here anymore, Jessica, Mike and Laura are at Drake, Rachel V. is probably in bed, Amanda N. is "away" on AOL, Amanda M. is at Bethel, and Scott is at ISU. (Oh, and don't forget that most guys find a girl crying very awkward anyway.)

Leah commented earlier tonight on my being quiet and I told her I wished I had a boyfriend, which was the best way I could describe what I'm feeling. She just rolled her eyes made a "pish" noise.--Yes, I talk about it a lot because it's a big deal to me. She doesn't have anything to worry about. She already has a steady boyfriend.

It would seem that I need chocolate, but I don't feel like it. Shocking I know, but right now this has progressed farther then chocolate.

We even did hugs today in band and that didn't help.

I was just home and I was in such a hurry to get back to campus, and now I miss it. Thanksgiving is soon... I just have to hold out...

Why am I even crying about this???? It's ridiculous! WHY is this so HARD???


"The fairy stories come harder now,
But she fights to keep them close.
When the world feels big and frightening
They're what she knows the most.

In those dreams of long ago,
She finds a safe retreat.
Remembering battling a dragon,
Helps her cope with life's defeats."

Edward got pushed to the back burner as school began, but he's been brought back to the front. I take this reality and substitute my own. Edward is someone to think about at least, even if he really is only a fictional characer.

I am so pathetic... And I still stand by the fact that you don't get enough hugs at college.

Elphie...

Life has made me grumpy.

Why do I get jealous when my guy friends hang out with other girls? Why do I struggle so much with this? WHY do I have such a bird-dog personality? Or a one-track mind... Whatever you want to call it.

HOW is it some people manage to get significant others and not me?

What's wrong with me?

WHY can't I be happy being single?

Ted gives me hugs and tickles me and teases me and calls me "hun" but it's all superfluous. Pseudo-flirting. We're friends, I KNOW that's just how he is. A gigantic flirt. I'm not letting myself be led on. I jush wish for once, that I had someone to like, who was interested in me as well.

I made a 5-finger weave bracelet tonight. 3 different colors of green, one black and one pink. Because "pink goes good with green."

"Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in..."

That is my life.

Home again

So I'm home for a night... Nothing too exciting...

Well, except for the fact that I'm tired and my pajamas aren't dry and I don't want to sleep in my jeans, so I gave up and put on damp pajamas. :-P

Oh and my shoulder hurts for some reason.

I went shopping tonight and spent too much money. :-D I bought two new pairs of jeans which I DESPARATELY needed... And I bought 2 camisols, one white and one red. The white is for a rose colored short-sleeved V-neck sweater, and the red one is to go under a black, long-sleeved sweater with those buttons that go half-way down the front. I also bought a silk scarf. It has different colored polka-dots on it. :-) Oh! And awesome khaki courdory pants. And socks. But they are normal socks. I still need another belt.

There are six blankets on my bed in the basement/dungeon. 3 of them are folded in half. That makes 9 layers of blankets! YES! :-D

Tomorrow, when I get back from church I will make Dutch Letters to take back to Wartburg.

Whoa...

Evidentially drinking two glasses of Mountain Dew at lunch and then eating a candy cane right before taking a nap results in some very crazy, bizzarely awesome dreams...

Sleepy-ish

I don't know what to think about life... Other then the fact that I'm single and that's not too cool... But there's nothing I can really do about it right now.

I will state that I do like having guy friends.

FYI, I will be home this Saturday and Sunday, although briefly.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Bonfire Night

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot,
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!

I can't find the right formula to solve for X in the math problem that is my life...

Dear God,

My life sucks right now, and there's nothing I can do.


Love,
Me


And I'm running out of kleenexes.

...

Yes, Rachel D. I think it was a little overboard. I'm sorry it seemed like I blew you off. I honestly didn't mean to. I have a million other things going on in my life, and I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I don't have my work schedule perfectly memorized. I'm sorry my agenda is often different from yours. Yes, I read your post last night and I wanted to respond but my roommate wouldn't let me. And for good reason. Because it pretty much was the icing on the cake of a really frustating night. That post moved me from frustration to anger. The whole timing of that was brilliant...An incredably awkward dinner with a certain important someone, followed 5 hours of music theory homework that would have resulted in tears had I not become angry.

Thank-you for tying to hang out with me. I'm sorry I'm so busy, and that you feel like you have to compete for my attention. I don't know when I'll be free next. I have two tests on Monday, juries are coming up, as well as piano seminar, plus two band concerts.

I haven't even unpacked from fall break yet! I'm living out of a suitecase in my own dorm.

And I did ask if you wanted to join me for dinner at 6, but you said no, because you were eating with Melisssa. And you said that was okay for me to eat at 6 instead. So I left it at that. Obviously, it really wasn't okay.

This is gonna sound mean, but gosh darn it! This isn't high school! There ARE other people for you to do things with other then just ME. Yes, it makes me happy that you want to hang out with me and do things with me! That's AWEOSME. But it gets hard for me to juggle all the stuff I have going on when I have people clamoring for my free time. Right now it seems like my attention/time is going to be on a first come first serve basis.

I know that's harsh... and I'd better stop before I go any further... I so totally late for work...


_______________

I am bound and determind to have a good time tonight.

Initiative

I got tired of waiting for life to happen, so I did something about it.

*heavy sigh*

First of all, here's a quote from History of Science that I forgot.

"I had a student who figured out how to fill in the scantron bubbles so that I would have to corrent it by hand... Yeah, he's no longer living...."- Dr. B before our second exam.

Second of all, I'm an idiot. My 2nd seven week class-- my cello/bass methods started LAST Monday! Ah! I've missed 3 classes! So I talked to the teacher and I'm just gonna do it some other time, since she recommends taking violin/viola first. EXCEPT the last day to drop 2nd seven week classes was the 30th! AHHH!

So yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna do....

Rachel and I had a discussion over the guys in my life and what could be going on... Heh, frankly I have no idea. Ted calls me "Hun" over msn sometimes, (which I don't mind) and there are other things, but I freaking don't know. Calling me "Hun" could very well just be a typing shortcut. I'm so over analytical... It's pathetic.