Quotes...

So I was bored and feeling nostalgic... So I started going through the file I have on my computer of all the past Facebook quotes that have been on my page since I joined Facebook in 2005. Some of them are kind of amusing, so I thought I'd re-post them for you all you enjoy. I've added some commentary to help explain some of the quotes.


"OMG! LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE!" -Me, referring to Isaac and his role in The Swordsmen.

"It's the piccolo that makes it piratey!" -Me.

"Quoi????" Matt used to say this a lot.

"You're breathing on my peanutbutter lid!!!" -Julia. We were fighting over a jar of peanut butter.

Me: I can remember ALL the flute solos I ever played for competition...
Julia: Wow! I can't remember ANY of *my* flute solos...
Me: Julia! You don't play flute!
Julia: What? Oh! I mean oboe! I can't remember any of my OBOE solos! -Awesome dinner conversation, from freshman year.

Me: ...We'd have to use translucent Jell-O, though...
Jessica: What Jell-O *isn't* translucent?
Me: Well, you know, the white kind.
Mom: Sarah, there is no white Jell-O.
Me: Yes there is! You know, those fancy Jell-O dishes... They have a layer of clear Jell-O, then white Jell-O, then more clear Jell-O on top.
Mom: Sarah, that "white Jell-O" is whipped cream.
Me: ......... No!
Jessica: Yes Sarah, it is. It's whipped cream.
Me: No, it's gotta be white Jell-O! It helps it stick together!
Mary: Sarah, Jell-O doesn't stick to Jell-O very well.
Me:........ Well, what if it's meringue?
Mom: (sarcastic) Yes, Sarah. They put torched meringue between two pieces of Jell-O. It still isn't white Jell-O. -Discussing food at the dinner table...

(The next day, at the grocery store)
Me: (holding a Jell-O box to Jessica's face) LOOK! It's *WHITE JELL-O!!!*
Jessica: Uh, Sarah you might want to read the box a little closer... That's vanilla pudding.
Me: ........ Oh.

"My Life is soggy..." -Erik Lamp, referring to his cereal.

"Practice rooms are for practicing music! Not practicing MARRIAGE!" -Bryan Houts to Margie when we heard about what went on in some of the Wartburg music practice rooms.

"I need a paperclip..." *looks down* "Darn... There aren't any in the floor...." -Me. My side of the room was so messy freshman year, there were times I could find what I needed by looking at the floor.

"The black one is dad, the blue one is mom, the pink one is Mena, I’m the green one, but I lost my eyes in the river.” –This was the description of a picture Stephen drew for me.

“Look at me, I’m a woman!” –Stephen, who had put on a couple dress up necklaces.

Jessica, to her dog: Maggie, you can't have any of this food. You'll get fat. You need to keep your girlish figure.
Sarah, in a high-pitched voice, talking for Maggie: But I'm neutered.... I don't need to attract dogs!

"Hmmm... What's in sushi... Well there's fish... I think she can eat fish.... And there's seaweed... That doesn't have any whey or gluten in it... And there's rice.... Which is made out of...... Rice..." -Jessica talking about a friend of her's who is allergic to milk, whey, gluten and a bunch of other things... Then we were talking about my potential trip to Japan next year and that led to sushi.

"I want always to be an undergraduate and to have fun!" -Amanda N.

Sarah, looking at Scott's nice muscle-y arms: Oooo Scott! You have some nice guns!
Scott: Thanks. I prefer to call them cannons. -Chillin' with Scott and Jessica summer, 2006

"If I were President I would try to make world peace. And if that didn't work, I'd take over the universe." -A little girl on a TV show similar to "Kids Say the Darnest Things"

Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet be high on pot!

"Argh! I will avenge my beloved's death, because I am a womanizing cheeseball!" -Jessica adding commentary while watching The Swordsmen. Some of you may know who this is referring to...

"100% Vitamin C... And Johnny Depp."-Me paraphrasing off the ingredients on my PotC Fruit Snacks box.

"The Death Star? What does it do?"
"What d'you MEAN 'what does it do????' It's the *Death Star*! IT DOES DEATH!!!" -Eddie Izzard

"Oh my gosh!!!! I just read this tea-bag and thought it said: 'Orgasmic Bigot'!" -Me reading the label of some organic tea.

"Ah! I'm trying to get away from this bee! It likes my pants!" -Isaac running around Derek's pool, as he was being chased by a yellow-jacket.

"No! It's EAST by some broccoli!" -A pirate reading a treasure map in the movie “The Pagemaster." Best line ever.

"Sarah! I think I just saw my sixth-grade kindergarten teacher!" -Jessica one day at Fareway.

"Hey! I think this has got Gangrene! POW!" -Jessica imitating a Civil War doctor.

Julia: Will you really write an editorial about no soft-serve ice cream?
Sarah: Yes! I'm paying almost 30,000 a year to go to school... I deserve soft-serve ice cream! They should have at least taken a vote!
Julia: Haha! What kind of democracy do you think Wartburg is?
Sarah: A *communist* one!

"I am doing to DIE! That's what I'm doing to do!!! Then I'm going to *kill* myself and die AGAIN!" -Me getting ready to do ear-training homework. For real. Ear training is one of the worst forms of homework.

"Trumpets are instruments when they're not Elephants." -Melissa S.

"What are you doing to Alaska???" -Leah to Jesse who was playing Risk.

"Who is Miriam and why are we screwing him?" –Me, Outfly 2006. Someone corrected Leah's grammar and she started talking about the dictionary.

Leah: Mmmm... Someone is doing their laundry. It smells good.
Sarah: Yeah, it does... Mmmm... How good?
Leah: Like, turns me on good!
Sarah. What?!
Leah:.... Ye-aaah..... Well, how would you describe it? Like, fresh baked bread good?
Sarah: No, like clean laundry good.
Leah: No, that doesn't count!
Sarah: Okay, it's like fresh towels and blankets out of the dryer... All warm and fuzzy... And you wrap them around you and go cuddle-cuddle-cuddle-cuddle!
Leah: *laughs* What? Cuddle-cuddle-cuddle-cuddle?
Sarah: Yes. Just like that. All warm and fuzzy. -This was walking back from Wal-Mart late one night. Leah and I are weird sometimes. :-)

"Don't go near the turret Nate! You'll get turreted!" -Luke watching Nate play STAR WARS on his computer.

Leah: I don't like philosophy. I'm not a good philosophizer.
Sarah: What?! Philosophizer?
Leah: Yeah. That's what they're called. Philosophizers.
Sarah: No, I believe the correct term is philosophers.
Leah: Oh.
Leah/Sarah: *LAUGHTER*

"What? Leave me alone! I'm angstily chewwing my animal crackers..." -Me being grumpy. It was like 2 in the morning and I had just finished doing ear training homework. Leah told me to stop throwing animal crackers at her, so I just started biting off the heads of the crackers and leaving them in a pile.

"Leah, you're making my brain cells die!" -Me after Leah changed clothes 12 times in an hour. For real. She went from super dressed-up Sunday best, down through semi-casual to ripped, holey jeans and an old t-shirt. And she kept asking me if she looked okay.

Leah: Sarah, are you good with tweezers?
Sarah: Have you SEEN my eyebrows?
Leah: Don't do that! You're not supposed to answer a question with a question!
Sarah: Well, Socrates did!
Leah: Yes. Well. He's dead, isn't he? -Questions while doing homework. No I'm not good with tweezers.

"Stop it Leah, you're breaking the spaghetties!!!" -Me, when Leah was trying to stir the uncooked spaghetti noodles in the boiling water.

"We're playing this like we're musically constipated..." -Me while practicing my flute solo with Leah accompanying.

"Haha, he's like Superman, but with asthma..." -My brother Matthew while watching Superman Returns.

Jessisca: 'Hi. I'm Jessica and I got pregnant by cuddling. With clothes on.'
Sarah: Haha! You got pregnant by pheromones!
Jessica: Yep. It's a boy.
Sarah: Wow.... That baby is either gonna look like Scott or Jesus. ---Jessica and I discussing a pseudo-pregnancy as an excuse for Jessica's moodiness and eating habits. This was while she was dating Scott. (Obviously.)

"STOP POKING BABY JESUS!" -Jessica when I was bothering her.

"I think the ISU mascot would be the result if Storm from X-men and a character from the books Animorphs got married and had a kid..." -Scott and I talking about Iowa State's mascot.... A red Cardinal in a Cyclone.

"AH! I hate getting the finger!" -Me playing the board game "Tribond", where on the category dice there is a picture of a pointing hand and it means you get to move without answering the question.

Sarah: JULIA! Don't eat the raw cookie dough! You'll get salmonella and DIE!
Julia: See? I ate it and I'm not dead.
Sarah: NO! It's a slow death by diarrhea!
Julia: Eww.... -Baking with Julia is always a blast. :-D

Julia: I like how you're stabbing the cookie dough with the spatula...
Sarah: This is my cookie dough of ANGST! -It actually was just really hard cookie dough.

"I like how you just tried to spell "diarrhea," like 5 times... It's got an "H" in it... You should put that part on your Facebook too..." -Julia commenting on my typing during a conversation on MSN...

Music Theory Quotes:

Dr. Mrs. Black: Okay, how are these two musical phrases connected?
Me: By barlines?

"Yeah, my lyrics totally don't allow modulation back into minor... It ends with Jesus being born, I'm not gonna fast forward to Good Friday!" -Amanda N. while discussing her music theory composition.

Dr. Mrs. Black: (while talking about fugues) What happens after episode one?
Me: Anakin destroying the droid army and the Gungan celebration?
Dr. Mrs. Black: ….. I think that sounds like something my husband would understand.

Sarah: Nathan, do you play duck-duck-goose or duck-duck-gray duck in Illinois?
Nathan: Duck-duck-goose.
Duane: I play duck-duck-YOUR MOM! -Back when we made a lot of "your mom" jokes...

Me: Hmmm... My roommate isn't going to be here this weekend... What should I do....
Jesse: Go crazy!
Ted: Throw a party!
Me:...I think I'll take down the Christmas decorations...
Ted: You rebel.

"Okay, so let me get this straight... Nate is Elizabeth Swann, but he is a blue peg, and he has a "wife"..." -Me while playing PotC LIFE with my Bethel friends. Luke made Nate use a car from the original game of LIFE as his game piece instead of the pirate ship.

Luke: *reading the LIFE square that Nate just landed on* You have rescued someone from a island of cannibals collect $300...
Everyone else: YOUR WIFE! THAT'S YOUR WIFE! YOU RESCUED YOUR WIFE! GIVE HIM A PINK PEG!
Nate: Wha-AAAAT?!

Nate: *reading the LIFE square that he had just landed on* You were attacked by the Flying Dutchman, Pay any player $300.
Me: And you got a baby.
Nate: Wha-AAAAT???
Me: Yeah... They um... Ran out of ammunition.
Luke: So they used babies.

Isaac: *sadly looking at the ship he just bought* I could only afford a Galilean.
Me: You mean a Galleon? -PotC LIFE, what else?

"Nate! Just for that comment you are now the proud father of three triplet girls!" -Me putting more pink pegs in Nate's LIFE car.

Nate: Ahhh! I'm so broke!
Me: Well, why didn't you pick a different character, instead of Elizabeth Swann?
Nate: Because I though I could sell my body and make more money!
Me: Well that's against the rules.

"Nate! Your babies are spilling everywhere!" -I don't remember who said it, but it was still during PotC Life.

"Sarah! You're stomping on Nate's babies! Why?" -Luke during PotC LIFE, after I finally reached the end.

"Blood on the doily, blood on the floor, blood on the kitchen and blood on the door!" -Nate making up a song about blood while we were playing "Encore"

Me: There's a wind chill advisory out tonight.
Ted: Really? For what?
Me: For WIND! It's a wind chill advisory!
Ted: NO! I mean for what temperature!?
Me: Oh.... I don't know. -Walking to B-lot in January.

"Revenge is selfish, and justice is impartial." -Me discussing "A Time to Kill" during Human Relations.

"ARRRHHHHHHGGGGAAA! I'M ANGRY AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!!! I'm gonna invade this country and start a war for NO REASON!!!!! DIE DIE DIE!" -Me acting out what guys would be like if they had PMS.

"You cannot expect others to stand up for you, if you first do not have the courage to stand up for yourself." -Me, being frustrated with people.

"Wells Fargo Bank owns my soul, and I'm a slave to Wartburg College." -Me, looking at my loan statement.

"Lassus wrote 700 motets... And 57 masses... *FIFTY-SEVEN MASSES!* Oh, my gosh! That’s a Mass for every Sunday of the year plus the major Holy Days! He wrote enough masses to last a WHOLE YEAR! HE HAS NO LIFE!!!!" -Me studying for Music History

Me: Have you seen the painting on page 333 of our music history book?
Leah: No.
Me: It's a portrait because they couldn't afford photographs... wait... -Me trying to talk about a painting from the Renaissance. It was a painting of a woman who was... Very... Um. Exposed.

Jessica: Pterodactyls are not related to birds.
Me: I know. They're more like flying lizards.
Jessica: Yeah. But Flying Monkeys are cool!
Me: What?!
Jessica: I mean flying squirrels... - Jessica and I discussing evolution....

"God sends me flashing neon sights... I mean signs..." -Jessica about God's will.

"There's a fifty-fifty chance that that person is a cross-dresser..." -Daniel while watching America's Got Talent.

"I'm just a bad judge of sex today." -Jessica while watching Legends of the Hidden Temple. She actually meant gender.

Me: *reading the newspaper* Hey! Bald Eagles are no longer considered an extinct species!
Daniel: You mean endangered?
Me: Yeah... Endangered...

"Ooooh look! Secret Service cars! From..... Minnesota..." -Me at out 4th of July Parade. Bill and Hilary Clinton were in it and they were preceded by two black SUV's with Minnesota plates... You don't really think of Minnesota when you think of Secret Service Cars.

Me: *counting Cribbage points* Two, four, eight... Wooo! Eight points!
Jessica: Uh, no. Count again.
Me: Huh? Okay. Two...... Four.... Eight! Right?
Jessica: No......
Me: OH! Two, four, eight, TEN! Wow! How did I miss that?
Jessica: No! Count *again!*
Me: *intently* Two..... four....... Eigh--no SIX! *Six* is next! Wow...
Jessica: Yeah. This is why you're not a math major! I'm sitting here thinking "Six! Six is next! Where is six?!" and you kept going "Twooooo, fouuuuuur, eiiiiight..."
-Jessica and I playing Cribbage. I guess I should practice counting by twos...

"You're in for some Olympic medal, ninja wandage..." -Jason Isaacs (Lucious Malfoy) talking about the upcoming 5th Harry Potter movie.

"I think I was just about to think that! I just wasn't quite there yet..." -Jessica suffering from jet-lag.

"Philomena, 'Machine gun' is NOT an option when playing 'Rock-Paper-Scissors'!" -my brother Matthew.

Me: Handle-bar mustaches are so cool! If I could grow a mustache, I would. And I would wax it and make it an awesome handle-bar mustache. And I would wear it around campus.
Rachel V.: You know what, Sarah? I believe you would.
-Rachel V. and I discussing "villainous" attire after seeing "Meet the Robinsons"

"Mom, I love your brown hair. You should paint the gray ones..." -My six-year-old brother Stephen

"Caution: Children left unattended will be given an Espresso and a free puppy." -a sign at our local coffee shop.

"Officer! You must arrest them! They own... a BUICK!" -Gomez Addams, The Addams Family

"I'll just climb into my bed and say aloha to myself..." -Rachel D. She has pink, Hawaiian-pint bed sheets.

"Don't lose
your head
to gain a minute
you need your head
your brains are in it
Burma-Shave"-an old shaving-cream jingle

Me:(while watching an 80's Cinderella movie, with Tudor-style costumes.) Wait. Where's his codpiece? He should be wearing a codpiece with those period poofy-pants.
Rachel V.: Maybe it's under the poofy-ness...
Sarah: No, codpieces are worn on the outside.
Rachel V.: Like an out fly?
Sarah: ..........Outfly?
Rachel and Sarah: ..........BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA! -This is definitely a Wartburg culture-centered joke.

Me: You can't just walk into a zoo with a gun and go "Hello! I'm little game hunting!" and then go shoot the penguins!
Rachel V.:... You mean "small game" hunting?
Me:...Yeah...
Rachel V.: Ooooh I'm totally telling your dad you said that. -Rachel and me discussing my desire to go penguin hunting.

Stephen: Knock knock!
Me: Who's there?
Stephen: Stephen!
Me: Stephen who?
Stephen: Just kidding! It's mom! I changed my name!
-My little brother telling knock-knock jokes.

Stephen: LOOK! LOOK! SHE'S DEFYING GRAVITY! That's amazing! -My 7-year-old brother watching Nancy Kerrigan ice skate to Defying Gravity from Wicked, on TV.

"OH MY GOSH! DO YOU WANT TO GO GIRAFFE HUNTING WITH ME?" -Me to Tim Harmon.

"My hand got cramped up and I just started to write in Wingdings!" -Rachel V. about a 3 page, hand-written essay we had in a test.

"Oh, my gosh!!! I had a dream last night that I had a BOYFRIEND!!!! ....Except that his name was 'Basso Continuo'... Which pretty much seals my fate as one of the dorkiest music majors of all time...." -Me. It's true. I have a sad, sad life.

"You may not know what the future holds, but you know who hold the future." -This was from an inspirational bookmark that someone gave me.

"Make friends. Make peace. Make believe." -This is on the wall of my favorite coffee shop.

"I don't know what you should be more concerted about... The angry ball of light zooming about your room or the young boy sitting at the end of your bed, sharpening his knife." -Me while watching the musical version of Peter Pan, starring Cathy Rigby.

"You look like you're about to go do something really adventurous, or something really weird..." -Leah, as I put on my trench coat for Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. I was a Time Lord.

Travis: Well this is just great... Larissa has decided to be deaf and Rachel is from the future...
Eric: What is with everyone today?!
Travis: Finals must be getting to them... -The conversation at lunch during Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. There's a class on American Sign Language, where you have to be deaf for a day, and that's what Larissa was doing.

Me: It's like that line from Hamlet! "Duncan was from his mother's womb untimely ripped."
Rachel: You mean Macbeth?
Me: Oh, yeah! Sorry!
Rachel: Waaay to confuse Shakespeare Sarah... Macbeth takes place in Scotland and Hamlet takes place in Poland.
Lourey: Or maybe Denmark.
Rachel: Crap! I was thinking about Chopin!
Sarah: Haha! We both messed that one up! -This is what happens when one person is discussing a paper on the virginity of Mary, and the other two are trying to study for music history...

Rachel V.: You know what else is awesome about Scotland? David Tennant lives there!!!!
Me: I kNOW! He makes pancakes in my mind! -Good times studying for Music History. I really wanted pancakes, and Rachel wanted David Tennant... This conversation lead to both of us discussing how we would imagine waking up to find David Tennant making us pancakes for breakfast. It was also about 1 am.

Tommy: Wait, wait! Who did they think you were?
The Doctor, glancing at psychic paper: The King of Belgium evidentially. -From the episode The Idiot Lantern.

Me: *gasp* You burnt the pizza!
Jessica: No I didn't.
Me: YOU burnt the PIZZA!
Jess: No! It's just a little bit crunchy!
Me: YOU BURNT THE PIZZA! Oh, man! Ooooh man! This means... We can no longer be friends......
Jess: Oh, stop it. You're so emo.
Me: Haha! No, this is emo... (pulls hair over face and speaks in a low voice) The world... It burnt the pizza.... My life no longer has meaning... *siiiiiiiigh* (brushes hair way.) But really. You burnt the pizza.
Jess: DID NOT! -Jessica cooked a frozen pizza for our dinner and followed the directions which led to a pizza that was rather dark in places...

Jessica: You are such a spazzmobile!
Sarah: I AM NOT A SPAZZMOBILE! -We were trying to get situated to watch Ouran High School Host Club.

"ARE YOU PUNISHING THE BUTTERFLIES?!" -Doc in conducting II.

Me: Everyone's got baggage! It's part of life! Baggage baggage baggage!
Rachel V.: Yeah, I know!
Me: "I'm lookin' for baggage that goes with mine..."
Rachel V.: I'm a freakin' LUGGAGE TROLLY!
Me: Haha! I like that... Luggage trolly.... -We were talking about the drama that other people created.

"Sarah, I have a feeling that if you went back in time and lived during this period, you'd run around pointing out all the fire hazards..." -Rachel V. We were watching a movie that took place during the Regency Period in England.

--Here are my current quotes--

"The following program contains accents you would have heard a lot more had you not thrown our tea into Boston Harbor. Please feel free to use closed captioning." -Shown before the TV show TORCHWOOD on BBC America. I love British television!

Me: What are you doing Stephen?
Stephen: (staring intently at the Nintendo DS in his hands) Fighting evil!

Stephen: Mom, it's a good thing you and I have different DNA.
Me: What?!
Mom: Yes, Stephen. What do you mean?
Stephen: You and I have different DNA. I'm a boy and you're a girl.
Mom: Yes, and what is DNA?
Stephen: It's this thing that swirls around and it has things across that look like stairs and it tells your body what to look like...
Me: How does he know about DNA?
Mom: Have you been watching Bill Nye the Science Guy?
Stephen: Yup!

Rachel D.: Dr. Survilla says I have perfect Canadian comma usage and I'm not Canadian.
Me: That's weird... Were you taught by a Canadian?
Rachel: No, I was taught in grade school!

"Who IS that magic woman?" -Matthew Broderick in Cinderella.

"NO! You are not a part of the red blob! Go away!" -Me. Rachel D. and I were wrestling with blankets. I had a red one and she had a green one...

Me: AH! Mr. Weasley is taking off his clothes!
Rachel V.: AHHH! He's getting NAKED!
Rachel D.: MY EYES! AHHHHHHH!
Me: Now he's running around the woods! MR. WEASLEY IS RUNNING AROUND THE WOODS NAKED!!!
Rachel D.: I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!
Rachel V.: AHHH!!!!
-We were watching Masterpiece Theatre's "Room with a View" which takes place pre-WWI and Mark Williams (who plays Mr. Weasley) was in it... and he joins some people in a swimming hole... Yeah...

Rachel V.: Sarah, do you realize that we'll get to hang out with Jim Henson when we're in heaven?
Me: Yeah... That'll be pretty much awesome!
Rachel V.: I know...

"Childbirth! Easy?! I'll tell you! It's like pushing a piano through a TRANSOM!" -Barbara Streisand as Fanny Brice in Funny Lady

Stephen: Sarah, did you kiss anyone while you were in England?
Me: No... Why?
Stephen: Because you need to get married. So you need to kiss someone first.
Me: Oh, I see... Stephen will you give me a kiss?
Stephen: No! I can't marry you! I'm your BROTHER!
Me: What if you give me a kiss, but we don't get married?
Stephen: Okay. Just a little one. On the cheek.
-This was the very first conversation I had with my 7 year-old brother when I returned home after visiting England for 3 weeks.

"Look! A Smart Car! It's like driving a roller-skate!" -Jessica's mom, driving home from the 4th of July Fireworks.