Music is life....

Today in conducting class we discussed the director's role when participating in honor choirs/bands/festivals and the different expectations that surround those situations. We talked about expenses/fees, music selection, interacting with the group--whether yelling is acceptable, and who the festival should really be about--the conductor or the students.

We talked about all of this for quite some time. At lunch, Bryan said he found it really really boring, but I thought it was one of the most important discussions I've had in all my classes. I mean, on the surface, we're talking about potentially getting paid to go and conduct some group for a day. (I say potentially because sometimes it's a volunteer position... because some schools don't have lot of money to pay for a guest conductor to come.) You get up there, you wave your arms. You bow. The end.

But really, that's not it. (I wanted to discuss it more with Bryan, but it wouldn't have included the Rachels, and that wasn't very polite.) I think what we were really discussing in class was the influence we have on children, and their continued interest in music. Personally, I've been to some honor bands where the music we were making gave me chills the whole time it was so amazing. I've also been to some where the director has made people cry, after reaming on them so hard for missing notes. Taking respect by force is not the way to go. Yes, the conductor is in charge, but yelling and other forms of intimidation should not be used to get the ensemble to perform a certain way. That doesn't mean that feelings of frustration aren't going to arise, conductors are human too, but what is REALLY going to be achieved by rounding on the the offending instrument/voice part/person in anger? There are better ways to handle things.

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I am realizing more and more with each class period that the things I say in rehearsal, how I act in lessons, how I handle concerts, even the manner in which I answer questions, will have an impact on my future students. I remember what it felt like to see that honor band director yelling at the clarinet section... I remember what it felt like when my first high school band director yelled at the band. And I don't want to forget that ever... Because I don't want to be like that! How can you make kids play with excitement and passion when they are forced to play through fear and intimidation?

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We also talked about ego, which was interesting. Dr. Torkelson labeled it as one of the "dark sides" of conducting. We compared the idea of a conductor who came out, bowed, and then acknowledged the ensemble, versus a conductor who acknowledged the group first and then recognized the audience in some small manner. Our class was unified in agreeing that the second example was better. Both Dr. Hancock and Dr. Torkelson stressed that the conductor is there to help make music with the group, as a whole. It's not about the conductor, it's about the students.

After this discussion, which lasted about 45 minutes of the hour and five minute class period, my name was drawn to conduct. I was kind of wondering when it would be my turn, so it was nice to get it finished. So I "rehearsed" the choir with what I had prepared... I was nervous, but it wasn't dibilitating. I had to think really hard not to use verbal fillers, and to not bury my head in the score and to talk loud enough. It felt like there were a hundred things going on at once and I was only conducting a 16+ member choir, singing a 4 voice hymn!

I got some really good constructive criticisms and general pointers...

1. I need to work on making eye contact with each person in the room, not just looking up from the score, and looking at the group.

2. I need to start trusting my ear to tell me whether the pitches I'm hearing are right or wrong.

3. I need to avoid saying "I want to..." I know this sounds hypocritical to what I just wrote about earlier, but I think everyone has this habit to some degree. I just need to start saying "We" instead of "I."

4. I need to stop showing my frustration with myself in my face, since that could be misinterpreted as directed towards the group.

And the best part? These are all things that I can totally work on and fix... And it's relevant to conducting! HALLELUJAH!

Some good points:

1. Allison said she liked my personality, and thought it was good that I laughed during the lesson because it lightened the mood and kept it friendly. Dr. Torkelson added to this and said that he thought my personality was one of my strongest suits.

2. AJ said I did a good job keeping my directions short and clear. (Which is kind of funny, because his conducting turn took 35 minutes.)

3. Rachel F. said I did a good job modifying my prep beat each time until the whole group came in at the same time.

Doc told me that I was very confident and that he could tell that I was very well prepared. Which is nice, because I felt like I had no clue what I was doing so I worked to at least have SOME clue what I was doing. :-) And it showed!

In addition to the constructive criticisms I received, I want to work on breathing with my prep beats and practicing conducting pick-up notes.

I love this class.... :-)



Have you ever had the feeling deep down in your heart that you knew what you where meant to do? Like, you couldn't imagine yourself doing anything else in the world? This feeling... It's almost indescribable... It's like this warm, rock-solid certainty that fills you with a renewed passion to learn...

Well, if you haven't I feel sorry for you. This is what I felt like all through conducting class.

And it's one of the best feelings in the world. :-)